Nameless Nonsense - The Origin of the Catapult

While it's largely unknown how the catapult got it's name, historians now believe that the common knowledge of catapult usage is in fact inaccurate. Instead of the large boulders and stones portrayed on the big screen in movies such as lord of the rings, cats, in fact were the missile of the day. Historians belive that these war-cats would be launched into an enemy encampment or castle, where they would wreak havoc on the unsuspecting victim's couch, thereby lowering the individuals social status considerably and making reclining darn uncomfortable. Let us not forget the battle of 1612 wherein felines flung into the fray then proceeded to urinate in and around the battlements, houses, and guards quarters. The tactic was largely regarded as a precursor to modern warfare, giving the name to the 'dirty bomb'.

This tactic was, of course effective as the noseplug had not been invented yet, and it resulted in the defending soldiers looking for armor that had not yet been used as a cat toilet, all the while the attacking army invaded. It was a swift and decisive victory, but the conquering nation later decided that the castle was simply too foul. Because, as everyone knows, cat pee gets into everything, and is impossible to get out. The castle was abandoned, and later became a mini-mall.

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